I find dating to be very challenging for myself. So many people at my work ask me why I am still single. Well.. I can think of a few things. I am not putting myself down by ANY means when I say this. Girls these days are looking for security, and comfort. I have made some choices and mistakes in my past, that put things on hold. Such as schooling. When it all comes down to it, it was my choice. We all have our vices we deal with. It took me longer then I wanted, to get in the position that I am today. I wouldn't change it one bit. I have learned many things from mistakes I have made, they have only made me stronger. I find it hard at times being 29, and just starting school (because of what I mentioned earlier, "security".) Most girls of the age 23 and above, are looking for a man almost done with school, and looking/in a career. (Again.. these are my views based on experience).
With security comes height of a man. Girls like guys that have an advantage over them, they don't want to be taller then the guy they date. it makes them feel insecure. Nobody wants to date someone who looks like they are 17. I am 29, and look like I'm still in high school haha. Good thing about this is I will look 20 when I'm 40 :)
I think a lot of people might relate to this part. I am going to share a bit about myself when it comes to me liking someone. If I am attracted to a girl, or interested in dating her, I will tend to hide my true self. (I think that's why everyone at work that knows me is taken back when they find out I am single)
It takes me a good while to warm up and become myself (we are talking like a few dates) Hence one of the reasons why it is hard to get a second, or third date.
When I meet girls and I am not feeling a connection. I am completely myself. That makes it hard for me because then they end up getting feelings for me down the road. That's not always a bad thing, but it has never worked to my advantage.
Another thing I have noticed with me in dating lately. I have started focusing on personality of an individual. (granted, I need to be attracted to the person). I'm talking about personal goals. Religious views. This stuff means so much to me, because it is what TRULY matters most in a person. Looks are the first thing to go, but personality, and values usually stay the same.
I set a age limit on dating. I will not date anyone under the age of 23.This rule is new as of this year. (you'll have to be very convincing if you want to date me haha) The reasoning behind this is.... I use to focus on trying to get the young girls. (because those are the ones that would show interest in me) I'm taking 18 and up. (so they say they are 18 haha). I would take what I could get. It took me a while to realize that these girls don't want what I want. They just want to play, and have fun! I don't blame them. Like all of us single people out there, I know we think about this often. If we just do what WE KNOW we should be doing, then when the time is right. It will happen.
Back in 2009, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second counselor in the First Presidency of the LDS church gave a CES fireside talk that I will never forget. I have shared this with some before, and I would like to share it with all you bloggers out there haha. Anybody reading this that is struggling with dating (or just for fun) I encourage you to read this talk. It might enlighten you they way it had enlightened me years ago.
Well.. I just wanted to mention a fw things. Now you all know my dating views, and where I stand.
Till next time
Much love!
I couldn't agree with you more Timmy! Well written and pretty inspiring actually!
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